Hurting Who We Love

Recently someone said to me, "we hurt those we love the most." I'm sure most of you have heard that or even made a status/tweet and or probably an AIM away message with that quote. I never really understood it. We hurt those we love the most? It just doesn't make sense to me.

Why do people hurt those that are close to them? Is it because they feel that no matter how many negative words and emotions are thrown towards that specific person, they'll just take it and still be there for us? Or is is it just an excuse for people to be a terrible person to another?

I think people use that as an excuse to apologize for being less of a human being to those that care for them. I have had people I care about say heart breaking things to me and I still stayed by their side. Why? Because I cared for those people and knew they were hurting and that they "never really meant" what they said. But over the last couple of years I've changed my perception on what is allowed on how people treat me. Yes, I cannot control what people say or do to me, but I can control how I react to it. I used to stay by those I cared about, even after they intentionally hurt me. It's easy to stay by what is familiar. But I always knew what I deserved and I have finally decided to act on it. When people hurt me, I used to react with the same fire power until I knew I had won whatever argument or fight we were having. I used to LOVE having the last word and making sure it hurt.

But I can't do that anymore. I have (finally) realized that saying negative and hurtful things to someone is not going to make me feel better. My words full of rage will not fix anything or bring light into this situation. So instead I choose to walk away. If someone intentionally hurts me, it has become really easy for me to walk away and not look back. I care for those I love and have always tried to be there for them so why should I deserve anything less than that? The answer is easy- I don't.

Time is limited and we should be embracing positive vibes as well as releasing positive energy to the universe. More importantly, we should be loving those we care about. I understand we are creatures of emotions and we will get mad and argue but we should remember not to intentionally try and bring someone else down just because we cannot deal with our own emotions. I've had someone recently have second thoughts on whether or not they wanted me in their life. It was simple for me to walk away and not look back solely because I knew I didn't deserve that. I don't have second thoughts on whether or not someone is important enough for me to keep around, because that really can't be love and compassion, right?

So don't treat other people the same way. And don't let yourself be treated similarly. How many times have we seen people constantly stay in poor friendships, relationships and situations even after they were hurt time after time? I have girlfriends who stay in relationships where they don't get the attention and love they deserve and I cannot understand it. But also remember, you deserve the love you give to other people. If you put out negative vibes on to others, don't expect people to immediately line up to be by your side.

Time is something we cannot grasp or even understand and it's kind of mind blowing that something we don't have, is something that is so easily wasted. We need to stop putting out negative energy as well as accepting it over and over again. So no, don't hurt those you love. Instead embrace the pain they might cause you and decide for yourself if the love you receive from someone outweighs the pain.

Irma xx


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